How did we end up here? Our world on fire: catastrophic climate change, a global pandemic, an economic crisis, a fractured and divided country, and the graphic murder of another black person by a white police officer caught on video? How is this our world? What kind of path are we on? And where does it end?
There is a profound obstacle to our continued existence. We must change our level of thinking and feeling about ourselves and each other or our base mindset and attitudes will destroy us. We have to heal the greatest wound of our civilization – the enduring trauma of white supremacy on black, indigenous and people of color (BIPOC) communities. If left unaddressed our future is bleak.
I recently posted personal thoughts and feelings about current racial dynamics on social media. I struggled with what to say and how to say it in a meaningful way. I didn’t believe my voice mattered – who am I as a white woman to say anything about the experiences of black people? I thought my responsibility was to listen and learn. I felt afraid of hurting or offending with my ignorance– black people who are exhausted by white token activism, and white people who think it’s a rebuke of their goodness. I condemn racism in my professional world but withhold my personal feelings for fear of injecting my privilege and contradicting any good I might do. As a mental health counselor, I don’t want to influence the counseling relationship with my own intimate feelings. I don’t want people to suffer, but I am reluctant to enter the fray.
However, now under the weight of global uncertainty and crisis, and the horrific footage of a modern-day lynching, I personally can’t sit quietly on the sidelines. Who does my silence serve? Certainly not those I claim to support. My white silence is complicity. It is a privilege to be silent. I/we, well-intentioned white people, can’t be quiet and complacent anymore. Racism is a white problem, not black. To my white friends and family, can we talk about the things we never talk about? Will you stand up with me? Will you act?
For those of you who genuinely care let’s first start by supporting BIPOC communities now as our country rages – write letters, sign petitions, send emails, donate, volunteer, join peaceful protests – find your own way to show support. Most importantly, moving forward we, well-intentioned white people, need to stop avoiding unpleasant conversations with differently minded white friends, family and co-workers who remain resistant and closed minded to a history that is undeniable. “I don’t see color. I’m not a racist because I have black friends. All lives matter” are unacceptable platitudes. Any excuse or well-intended justification for “why I’m not racist” must be challenged and substantively examined. Our discomfort will be deep and overwhelming, and we must endeavor to do it anyway.
The well-documented problem is that our whiteness is invisible, and we work consciously or unconsciously to keep it that way. The painful truth, whether we admit it or not, is that we know white is better. We know it because we were socialized to believe it – like how we know rich is better than poor, beautiful is better than ugly, thin is better than fat, young is better than old, able-bodied is better than dis-abled, and so on. This is why the wheel of suffering keeps turning. We don’t talk about what we all deeply know and feel because it is too painful and too uncomfortable to own. We learned these prejudices, and we can unlearn them.
Our only chance of healing as a country and global community is if white people mindfully examine our participation in the structures of racism and boldly speak and act against the ignorant and hateful amongst us. We can show support for our BIPOC friends and families by educating ourselves on whiteness, white supremacy and racial inequality. We don’t need BIPOC to teach us anything, we need to teach ourselves. And most pressing, we must vote for leaders who take us in the direction of unification and healing. BIPOC activism alone will not get us there. Only white people confronting white people will break the cycle of suffering. Our world is too fragile to be silent and complacent.
