This is the real yoga, Gina.
Writing this blog was on the top of my to-do list for years. And it’s finally time. I scribble in journals and notebooks, make voice memos and audio recordings, and I have done this for as long as I can remember. I’m a hoarder of ideas, and I was recently called out on it in the most supportive of ways. Someone asked for my slide notes on a conference presentation, but I didn’t have good notes, just scribbles. I told her, “The slides are mostly images because it’s more engaging for the audience. I use stories to illustrate the main points so I’m not sure it’d be very helpful for you.” She said, “Well that sounds engaging, but I wasn’t there. So how are we supposed to learn from you if you don’t share the information?”
Ouch… that lousy feeling when truth penetrates your heart. She was right. I was hoarding beneficial information mainly out of my own fear. Fear that I don’t have anything to say, that I’ll be horribly judged for what I do say, and the crushing feeling of doubt that no one will care or benefit. And this exchange prickled one of my personal issues with academia – the hoarding of useful information and the failure to share it in a consumable way for the benefit of all. I’m guilty of that. But it’s finally time – to feel all that fear and do it anyway.
This is the real yoga, Gina.
This blog is a personal writing challenge to spend a year doing my best to capture observations on what I think of as the real yoga practice and my mostly futile efforts to merge all steps of practice together. It’s a form of discipline- holding myself accountable to what I preach. This blog is a practice in what the vipassana meditators call “strong determination” (adhiṭṭhāna). Strong determination, discipline and commitment – sound awful? Those words generally strike fear and loathing in most people’s minds. My mind is no exception. Strong determination (adhitthana) is SO challenging – so hard! But, BUT… you know what’s coming. It’s also SO WORTH IT. I know if I keep applying myself, I’m bound to get closer to my final destination. Getting this blog started is a big step. I’m scared. And I’m going to do it anyway.
This is the real yoga is a collection of personal and professional life lessons. It’s me actually taking the time to sit down, reflect on, and carefully craft an expression of all the scribbles and notes that will certainly be helpful for me and may be helpful to you. It’s a digital diary of all the moments when I reminded myself, This is the real yoga, Gina. That’s my mantra to remind myself to get my act together. (Get my shit together is what I really want to say.) Which does not necessarily mean I was successful in being yogic in that moment. In fact, that’s why I write. More times than not I failed and those are the juicy moments worth sharing.
Can you feel the fear rising?
This is the real yoga, Gina.
So, if you know me, I hope you appreciate these stories and essays. You were part of my journey and I’m grateful for you. (Side note: Don’t worry, I won’t share any personal identifiers in my stories without consent. If you were hoping for a tell-all, this won’t be it.) For those of you who are new to me, it’s a pleasure to connect. What I want you all to know is the purpose of this blog is sharing information with the intent to educate and inspire. If it does either of those things, I’d love to hear from you. If it does nothing for you, then please, turn your attention toward something that will.
This is the real yoga is my mantra and I hope maybe it will be yours too. It is a powerful concentration aid – that’s what a mantra is – a tool to help focus the mind because a concentrated mind is necessary on the path of personal refinement. This is the real yoga reminds us what yoga is – not just bendy poses and active wear – but a holistic path to bliss. This is the real yoga reminds us to engage in the moment after moment flow of life experiences. It reminds us that we have a choice in each of those moments. We can choose awareness or autopilot. We can choose action or habitual reaction. And perfection- oh perfection, you terrible master – you can beat it. On this path effort – not perfection – is what matters most. A strong determination (adhittana) to do your best. When you fail, start again. Patiently, persistently, keep making efforts. This is the real yoga.
So welcome friends. I’m not sure yet how things will take shape so please keep reading. I am trying to find my groove and my voice. And there are just so many scribbles to draw from so forgive me if it’s a bit of a bounce around for awhile. This will be one of those fun progress stories, and who doesn’t love a good before and after? What can you count on is that I’m excited you found me, and I’m excited to share all I learned and am still learning about yoga, meditation, psychology and neuroscience.
